Chapter IV: Antartarctica

by Evil Scarecrow

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1.
Skål! Skål! Skål! Skål! We are the shadow of a darkestness We cast a shadow of our own Inside that shadow no light escapes Darkness so dark that it becomes a hole We are the hole made from the shadow We are the blackest of the seas We wear the leather and the spiky things We are the thirsty - from the enemies' skulls we drink Fight to live Live to fight Fight to live Drink from the skulls of our enemies We are angry at establishment We break the mother flipping rules Shouting the loud and shouty noisyment My mum can't understand the feckin words We break the cups, the mugs, the glasses We smash the giant drinking horn Thirsty, with all the other vessels gone We are the thirsty - from the enemies' skulls we drink Fight to live Live to fight Fight to live Drink from the skulls of our enemies And racing out with +5 vorpal blade of power And slicing cranium off of olfactory bulb With scalping of flesh and scooping of brain matter Release inverted calveria we raise to drink I put my vessel down But it is round It tips over and falls To the ground Fight to live Live to fight Fight to live Drink from the skulls of our enemies
2.
Who would have believed that in the year of our Lord 2017 Hot red people would come from Mars To seduce and destructify the simple peoples of earth? Failed pockets of resistance antagonised the alien invaders further Causing the almost extinction of the human race I remember a time before Before she offered me wine Looking back I should have seen Her bright red crimson skin She was part of an invasion force Also, she had red horns Now I think about it red teeth too I can no longer blame the wine Red is the colour of our blood left as a hazard on the floor Hot red people from Mars destructify our world It was time to retaliate An expedition to Mars Mars, the red, red planet Full of hot red people We were part of an invasion force But we failed to find our foe In our anger, we only saw red Making it impossible to find them Red is the colour of our blood left as a hazard on the floor Hot red people from Mars destructify our world I am lupine soldier now - my posting, Olympus Mons I'll search the Tharsis region for the Red Riding Hoods My disguise is that of an alluring human grandma My nightdress is cumbersome, my disguise ineffective I trip, my visor cracks, the icy world creeps in I'll think of the hot red girl and what could have been As my blurry vision fades, I hold on to a final thing: If I had got to second base could I have been The Martian king? Red is the colour of our blood left as a hazard on the floor Hot red people from Mars destructify our world
3.
Way To Die 03:48
Say goodbye to your world, farewell to your bleak existence Turn all you know into white noise, dust and soil Die. Somehow. Just find a way to die Slaughtered Eaten By human Cannibal Take too many headache pills Falling off a windowsill Comb your hair with a knife Scalp your head, end your life Don't care how you die As long as you die Don't care how you die As long as you die Have a bath Soapsuds Toaster Electrodeath Freezing on a mountainside Falling off a theme park ride Drowning in septic tank Dying from a strangle-wank Don't care how you die As long as you die Don't care how you die As long as you die You, drunk on tequila Cand die and drive an eighteen-wheeler On fire for all I care You, on an acid trip Can die from random poisoning In my electric chair Fry your head until you die Don't care how you die As long as you die Don't care how you die As long as you die
4.
The Magician 04:32
I command the power of all magics Kneel and bear witness to complete destruction Summoning forth demons and dreams and skeletons too Elemental beasts, and red balloon animals Cast aside a river of sacrificed innocent virgins My power grows, my power is bigger than yours I am master (the invisibling of Leporidae) Arcane powers (the vanishing of Sudario) Take my vengeance (materialising Columbidae) Annihilate, using fire and frost and damaging spells Necromancy, bending time and space and spoons Open the sky itself and rain down blood and guts and bits I wield the power of ancients, I am god I am master (the invisibling of Leporidae) Arcane powers (the vanishing of Sudario) Take my vengeance (materialising Columbidae) Black clouds of insects disperse and die in the stench of my wake Ashes settle as my destruction is spent Gazing up, a lone figure approaches, coin in hand Payment accepted, wipe the sick from my suit and agree to return for Jimmy's eighth I am Count Cospocus, Count Mysteryo Cospocus I am all magic, I own the arcane My spell book is flipping huge The magic circle kicked me out Threatened, no doubt, by my unlimited skills No one comes close to my illusory cantrips I am all powerful, I am Mysteryo Cospocus I am a complete... Count
5.
Hurricanado 05:14
And now Dr Hell with the weather: "MOIST" At the edge of the storm It's bending my trees I forgot my umbrella I can't find my keys Multiple vortex Downbursts devastation It brings all the pain And damp penetration And rain Embracing the hurricane Charging from the sea Hurricane meet tornado Cataclysmic debris And an earthquake Into the sky Into the eye We will fly in the Hurricanado Into the sky Into the eye We may die in the Hurricanado Hurricanado Hurricanado Hurricanananananananananado The tornado was invented in 1929 by Thomas Ornado. Spilling bees into a vat of compressed air, the mighty force of the tornado was released unto the world. Wreaking havoc upon the high seas, they hunger for human annihilation. When faced with the power of a land hurricane, these forces combine inexplicably to form nature's most destructive force: a hurricanado... And an earthquake Stercore eh tempestatis Stercore eh tempestatis Gravis vernum malus ventus Gravis vernum malus ventus The storm rages on...
6.
Gus awoke in agony, his frail form trembling in pain Looks across the corpses - there lies Zag, his dearest friend Twisted and broken, but clearly still alive Gus claws over the dead, to reach his dear friend's side Avoiding the gaze or the wrathful Turnip King "Zag, my dearest friend, we have left just one thing." Gus readied the crystal, and his enchanted gavel "Prepare, my dearest friend, prepare for time travel." Six weeks ago their life was seemingly normal Bored of fire, bored of work Experimenting with black magic powers Summon the devil, summon his yolk Gus, Zag versus the Turnip King Travel through time, a paradox thing To their surprise, emerged a bulbous taproot Born of fire, born of hate The Turnip King was summoned, not the Devil Summon the Turnip, summon your fate Gus, Zag versus the Turnip King Travel through time, a paradox thing Gus raises the gavel in his twisted and blackened hand With vision fading, he destroys the time crystal The earth, sun and moon tremble As the time portal rips a gaping hole Through the very fabric of space-time Shaking the very foundations of the multiverse Stepping through the swirling mass of chaotic energy Stars fly past at unimagined velocity Ghosts of the dead scream in agony As time rips apart all existence They cling together as they burst through the cosmos Fulled by fire, fuelled by hope Their bodies meld into a single being They emerge in through the light As a walking talking turnip Gus, Zag versus the Turnip King Travel through time, a paradox thing Meeting themselves at the summoning Gus, Zag became the Turnip King
7.
Polterghost 04:39
Bewilderment - I have weirdly stacked your chairs Phenomenon - some plates are flying everywhere Precipitate - a feeling of unease Consternate - through the scariness of trees Supernatural Loud noises Terrifying Yvette Fielding I am the ghost I am the trees I can decieve I live in your head Under the stairs And in the TV I am the ghost I am the trees I can deceive I am the ghost And I will take your hand and I'll lead you down into the abyss Cryptically - writing Latin on your walls Astonishment - I left your bed sheets in a ball Disillusion - and illusion Confusion - every type of "usion" To save money, they only moved the gravestones They built the houses on the Indian burial ground Creatively - I make the white noise on TV Destructively - turn the boiler to full heat Irrevocably - I cause some chaos with your lights Wreckingly - I hide your socks and ladder tights Polterghost Spaghetti on the walls Polterghost A bit of stuff left on the floor Polterghost Can you tidy all your mess? Polterghost You dirty, messy bastard, Polterghost
8.
Cosmos - cosmos goth moth gong Cosmos - a cosmic space that the moth resides within Goth moth - a freak of super novastrology Cosmos - lives off dust and some floating human skin Goth moth - is the colour black which makes it hard to see In space Cosmos - cosmos goth moth gong Cosmos - flaps his wings to no effect in zero G Goth moth - is unhappy from without to within Cosmos - like any other moth avoids nepthalene Goth moth - his moth balls are a sight yet to be seen In space God I'm bored Maybe I'll have another go on my gong Errr, now it's drifting away It will soon be out of reach Like my half-eaten space blanket I'd fly after it if I could... but I can't Stupid space Cosmos - cosmos goth moth gong Cosmos - flaps alone, tries to head into the moon Goth moth - lack of atmosphere means it cannot move Cosmos - in despair, a cry for help, he sounds his gong Goth moth - in this vacuum can no-one hear his song? In space
9.
Brother Pain, why did you go to Antartarctica? The coldest place on earth is no place for a monk Escaped your prison cell Did you carve a key from an inmate's leg? Why make escape in a stolen car? Does your mum know where you are? Brother Pain, why did you go to Antartarctica? The coldest place on earth is no place for a monk Brother Pain, why did you go to Antartarctica? With open sandals and a tunic made of hemp Snuck aboard a creaky ship Did you pull the plug to make it sink? In the cold and the barren and the wind that howls Were you the one they saw in a hessian cowl? Brother Pain, why did you go to Antartarctica? The coldest place on earth is no place for a monk Brother Pain, why did you go to Antartarctica? With open sandals and a tunic made of hemp
10.
Clawing, rip at your face Blind from the ice that has frozen your eyes Suicidal Pull out a gun Ready to fire Missed by a mile 'cause Your hands are Frozen, frozen by ice Nothing but ice as far as you can see But you see nothing Already said That you are blind Blind from the ice that has Froze your eyes Frostbite blackens your limbs Appendages frozen exposure to snow Vasoconstriction Damaging cells Reducing the core Temperature It is cold Freezing, it's minus below Zero degrees, definition of freeze Penetrating Wind doesn't help Wading through snow You enter a cave to Take respite From the cold And the ice "Hear me traveller, these icy words I come to you in a dream of song I am queen of the frozen lands, Alizé There in the distance, there lies the goal of your intent Legend tells of a secret path, let me guide you But danger lies beyond here in this cave Garganega, Lord of Slugs, waits there. Vanquish this hellion, till he's gone, Or like this song your quest goes on, And on and on and on and on, And on and on and... on." "Wake up my progeny You cannot escape your destiny Bury your pain deep inside Alizé, she beckons..." Waking up in the cave, your vision returns as your eyeballs thaw Memory of distant voice is beckoning Gathering strength as your body restores, you begin to explore The precipice inside the cave, buried under the frozen snow Creeping ahead you discover a corpse A disfigured yet recently dead penguin Searching the body you find a bag of salt Victory it's time to open up your inventory These frozen plains are a mystery You store the salt and marcheth on Burst Eine mega burger bitter eine mega Garganega Slithers forth and thirsty for blood Eine mega burger bitter eine mega Garganega Stench of death and oozing slime Eine mega burger bitter eine mega Garganega Demon Lord of the ice slugs fight Eine mega burger bitter eine mega Garganega Praise his sticky yet frozen slime Well-placed hand of salt Twin bane of gastropod A fizzing mound of flesh Thrashing through the cave Begins to dessicate Garganega falls Antartarctica Antartarctica A protracted narrative Time is relative The length is superlative Antartarctica "Here, come forth brave monk, Through the crystal prism, Before he is revived. Be seated upon the ice bench. Our paths are entwined As here I am imprisoned Within this frozen cage, An unwilling slave By he that stands in your way. And though Garganega is damaged, He will return. You must forge the Sodium Blade From purest salt. You must face him. You must prevail." With ice hammer and minimal training or experience, Weeks pass until finally the cold forging is complete Weird salty sword in hand, you leave Alizé's cold embrace To face again, once again, Garganega Raging out from the compost The demon is here The demon is fear Regenerated by decaying waste His freezing gaze is cold A newly constructed igloo shell And spraying ice cold slug milk forth His slimy maw begins it's discourse His gross vociferation is a new-found frozen hell "I see icey death awaits you I watch the light leave your eyes Prepare to meet your destiny Prepare yourself to die." With a final swing of your mighty salt sword, you level the demon Stepping over the dissolving cadaver of Garganega, sliding in his remains There, there you see it, just beyond your sight After all endured, all peril faced There it is

about

Chapter IV: Antartarctica is (as the title expertly suggests) our fourth full-length studio album. We really wanted to push our musical boundaries and create a record that connects with the world we live in today.

I think everyone can relate to the endeavours of a sandal-clad monk bravely exploring a sub-Antarctic wasteland, on an unknown quest, enduring the extreme elements and battling his inner demons... and an ice slug who shoots frozen milk...If not that, haven't we all had to live with a malevolent Polterghost at some point? Laddering our tights and chucking spaghetti about the place... Bastards. Equally relatable is our track Gus, Zag and the Turnip King . The amount of stories you hear up the pub about staunch Satanists accidentally summoning a two-headed turnip monster, instead of our lord Beelzebub, which then goes onto destroy the earth. Then, in a final desperate act of time travel, two people are genetically melded together through a space vortex, horribly mutated to become the aforementioned taproot. It's a classic grandfather paradox tale that speaks to us all.

Despite the deep socio-political messages, we also wanted to reflect and record important parts of our recent history. Everyone remembers the devastating Mars invasion of 2017, right? In our defence on this one, we did write the song in 2016, so it could have happened. Or maybe it did and you've all forgotten, too busy with your heads buried in social media, no doubt!

The fact that you have read this nonsense this far is frankly a miracle. Maybe you need to get out more. Y'know, do some outdoor activities or something. We're all going to die, probably much sooner than we would like. The least you can do is get some fresh air and watch the sunset with a loved one, silently reflecting on the darkness that follows the final, gasping rays of the dying sun as a metaphor for the bleak ending of your own insignificant existence...Oh, there's also a song about a cosmic goth moth! Well actually it's sort of about his gong. It's called Cosmos Goth Moth Gong.

credits

released September 28, 2018

Produced, mixed and mastered by Russ Russell at Parlour Studios
Album design by Rusty Monkey Ltd.
Artwork by Very Metal Art
Released by Deadbox Records

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Evil Scarecrow Nottingham, UK

Evil Scarecrow’s live show has been captivating, delighting and surprising audiences for many years. From the local pub to the main stage at Bloodstock Festival, it has grown bigger, louder and sillier with each year of success.

More than just a metal gig, an Evil Scarecrow show is a performance, a piece of bizarre rock theatre unlike any you’ve seen before.
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